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 Jordan Vexx
                  (When your at the end of your rope, all you can do is climb.)
                  ICQ#: 92740292 AIM: Ask Please ... 11/12/2000 4:10:03 AM #
                  3225501

                  *That was enough to know something is wrong. CJ is far more timid than
                  that. If he honestly thought I was angry with him, or felt he might be a threat,
                  the boy wouldnt say a thing, nor would he dare back away from me, that
                  was a mistake I corrected when he was too young to fight back. Now, hes too
                  weak to fight back. Closing the distance between us in two long quick
                  steps, I place a hand over his mouth and nose, cutting his air off, and putting
                  him into a grip before he can react. It kills me to do this, but I dont have to
kill him. Only make sure he sleeps for now.*
 

 CJ Vexx
                            ("Don't be afraid to go after what you want to do and what
                            you want to be, but don't be afraid of being willing to pay
                            the price." Lane Frost)
                            ICQ#: 92740292 AIM: Ask Please ... 11/12/2000 4:12:08
                            AM # 3225531

                            *Perfectly executed. Im astonished at my brothers speed.
                            But I think its time to vacate, and let CJ handle the
                            ramifications of what Ive done. Retreating to the deepest
                            recesses of his mind, his own consciousness takes over,
                            struggling for air, fighting his father in a panic.*

 Jordan Vexx
                  (When your at the end of your rope, all you can do is climb.)
                  ICQ#: 92740292 AIM: Ask Please ... 11/12/2000 4:17:10 AM #
                  3225594

                  *His surface thoughts change quickly. I hadnt been able to read him until a
                  moment ago, when his mental self began to cry out in desperation, fear and
                  panic. Letting go, I realize my son is back, for the moment. He falls to the
                  floor, sobbing, knowing what happened, knowing everyting Randall did. I
                  read him easily and dont know what to do to help. Ive never seen him this
                  broken before, and its getting worse.*
 
 

CJ Vexx
                            ("Don't be afraid to go after what you want to do and what
                            you want to be, but don't be afraid of being willing to pay
                            the price." Lane Frost)
                            ICQ#: 92740292 AIM: Ask Please ... 11/12/2000 4:27:50
                            AM # 3225706

                            *Overwhelmed by what Ive done. Whether or not it was
                            under my control it was still me. Ive defiled everything I
                            honored and respected, and loved. I once had a shot with
                            Chan, to be a decent human being. Thats gone now.
                            Nobody can ever truly trust me again. I cant even be a man
of honor. I never had a chance. He's still back there, laughing at me, hating everyone and everything.
Now having totally crushed everyone in this family, in one way or another, and yet hes not satisfied.*

*I try to get to my knees, but his infusion was more painful than he let me know, and I dont succeed. Yet
another failure of mine. Thats when I realize Im crying like a child. I dont even have a full grip on my
reality. Jordan is here, and he tries to comfort me, first by putting a hand on my shoulder, then by pulling
me to him.*

*When I was real young, Id been sick a few times. Once during a strong case of pneumonia, Jordan had
come home, and took care of me the entire time. He would sit with me until I was well enough to get up
and around. I used to wish he was my father, instead. He did things with me, and always asked about
important stuff. Now looking back, I understand why.*

*So its no real big thing for me to cry on him. I puked on him before, this aint much different. He dont say
a word, I guess hes trying to spare me any indignity. Like I have any dignity to lose.*