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 CJ Vexx
                    ("Don't be afraid to go after what you want to do and what you want to
                    be, but don't be afraid of being willing to pay the price." Lane Frost)
                    AIM: RmgdnX or Myth and Rumor ... 3/5/2001 1:15:28 PM #6106836

                    *Everything still hurts. I woke up stiff as a board, but that doesnt mean I
                    get to lay around and nurse it back to health. Animals dont care how you
                    feel when theyre hungry, or need something. So I got up early this
                    morning. Thinking Id loosen up as the day goes on. But so far...nothings
                    happened. With Jada and Jordan in Virginia, Ive a bit less to do. But Im
                    still concerned. How the two of them are going to fair through all this is
important. For him, he still has his moments. But theyre less and less. More these days hes on an even
keel.*
 

                        CJ Vexx
                    ("Don't be afraid to go after what you want to do and what you want to
                    be, but don't be afraid of being willing to pay the price." Lane Frost)
                    AIM: RmgdnX or Myth and Rumor ... 3/5/2001 1:34:42 PM #6107070

                    *Finally taking a break, I sit on a tool box at the back of the house, and
                    look out at the field. Its odd when a person takes stock of their life. Ivent
                    done it in a while. Think about what I have, versus what I might not ever
                    have had.

                    So, Jordan's my dad. Funny how blind I was. All those years, he'd be
there at critical moments. Even times when it was impossible for him to tell what was happening. Why
didnt he tell me before? The one place that gets to me is the time he nearly killed Granddad. Id done
pissed the old man off one too many times, and happened to be in the way of his fist. Well, ok, he hit me,
and hard. I fell outside through the halfsized window in the kitchen. Hurt like hell. I guess I was about
thirteen at the time. I was no real stranger to the old man's flying objects. Sometimes they bothered me,
mostly they didnt. I guess Jordan had just walked through the door after being gone for a few months. But
I heard m...grandmom begging Jordan to stop. I was still laying outside. Trying to figure out what just
happened. But oddly, the only thing I really heard was Jordan telling him if he ever touched me again,
there would be a gravestone with the old man's name on it. He never touched me again. Ever. Jordan
always took care of me. Now I understand. I could have put it together long time ago, but I guess I had
too many other things going on. I learned to be quiet around the old man. Thats for sure. I was stiff for
days. Had thirteen stitches on my shoulder, where Id fallen on a shard of glass. I sorta feel like that now.
Been a long time since anyone really took me to the barn. I dont see what Jordan likes about violence like
that. Im just glad he does what he can so I can avoid it. I aint int'that stuff.*